Luca Era Gay - Luca Once Was Gay - Povia

There are already several bad English translations floating the web around of Povia's "ex-gay" anthem, which stands a decent chance of winning this year's Sanremo Festival. Before any more time goes by, I wanted to offer what strikes me (humbly enough) as a slightly more decent rendition.

What's pretty difficult to convey in English, especially in a fast translation like this, are the terribly catchy rhymes that make the original so musically compelling. In fact, the verses are more or less spoken in a sort of "rap light" version, while the chorus is sung -- accompanied by a very talented female vocalist who reminds one a bit of that wailing voice in the background of Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon.

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"Luca Once Was Gay"
Povia

Intro:
Luca once was gay but he’s with her today. When Luca speaks, he holds his heart in his hands. Luca says: Today I am a different man.

1st Verse:
Luca says: Before I talk about the change in my sexuality, let me make one thing clear: If I believe in God, I can’t depend on human beings for my answers. Human thought is divided on this issue, so I didn’t look to psychologists, psychiatrists, clergymen, or scientists. My search took me into my own past, and when I dug down deep, I found the answers to my questions about myself.

My mother loved me—too much. Her love became obsession. Under the weight of her beliefs, her attention, I felt myself suffocating.

My father was a man who didn’t make decisions. I could never talk to him because he was always at work, though I suspected the truth was a little different. In fact, when I was twelve, my mom told him she wanted a separation. I didn’t understand what was happening, but my father said, “Yeah, that’s the right decision,” and after that he started drinking.

My Mom never had a good word to say about my Dad. She used to tell me, “Whatever you do, don’t get married.”

She was jealous of my girlfriends; it felt so unhealthy. And my identity was more confused than ever.

Chorus:
Luca once was gay but he’s with her today. When Luca speaks, he holds his heart in his hands. Luca says: Today I am a different man. (Repeat.)

2nd Verse:
Today I’m a different man, but back then I needed answers. I was so ashamed, I did my looking in secret. There were people who told me, “It’s natural,” but I studied Freud and he didn’t see it that way. I got through high school, still not knowing what happiness was. An older man made my heart race and that’s when I realized I was homosexual.

With him, I didn’t hold back. He showered me with attention, and I thought it was love. Sure, I could be myself, but then the sex became a competition.

I felt like I was the guilty one. I figured they’d catch him sooner or later, but I could make the truth disappear so he wouldn’t get in trouble.

I was looking for my father in all those men. I went with them because I didn't want to betray my mother.

Chorus:
Luca once was gay but he’s with her today. When Luca speaks, he holds his heart in his hands. Luca says: Today I am a different man. (Repeat.)

Finale:
Luca says: I was with a man for four years. Sometimes there was love and sometimes only deception. We cheated on each other constantly.

I was still searching for my truth, for the kind of love that would last forever. Then one night I met her at a party. She was just there with a lot of other people. She had nothing to do with what I was going through, but she listened, she laid me bare, she understood. All I remember is: the next day, I missed her.

So that’s my story—my personal story. No sickness, no recovery.

Dad, I’ve forgiven you, even though you went away and never came back.

Mom, I think about you all the time, and I’ve never stopped caring. Sometimes I still see your face, but I’m a father now, and my heart belongs to the only woman I’ve ever truly loved.

Chorus:
Luca once was gay but he’s with her today. When Luca speaks, he holds his heart in his hands. Luca says: Today I am a different man. (Repeat.)